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Currently touring, I strive for presence. Promoting performances, creating brief content, managing finances, desperately seeking North Dakota vegan options. Touring resembles navigating leaky vessels with precisely-sized bailing buckets – survival requiring constant effort. Debt struggles to target perpetually moving subjects selling merchandise. During stationary moments, I observe audience faces, overwhelmed by affection and thankfulness, flooded with emotions exclusive to shared spaces and collective experiences.
Against my better judgment, I regularly set aside essential improvements to create superficial visual effects that didn't address core problems or speed up development—sequenced particle systems and glittery animations requested through vague verbal descriptions rather than storyboards or references. I was pressured to deliver these for client reviews, often within hours, repeatedly resulting in the client's visible frustration upon discovering the outcomes didn't match expectations or prior agreements.